Back to "Normal"

Never fear! We still have a total of  33 days left of summer!

WAIT!! 33!? THAT'S NOT ENOUGH!!!

☆

Hello everyone! And Greetings from my back to "normal" life after being on that strange land of cruise-dom. 

This year, more than ever, I'm getting that horrible feeling of "omg we only have XX days left till school! what have I been doing all summer?!"/time-is-running-out syndrome. It probably didn't help that I went from 4 days solid with a friend, to being completely cut off from the normal world for close to 2 weeks. So now that I'm back, I seem to have a slight mental block of anything that happened before the cruise... which has launched me ever so slightly into panic mode. I keep thinking stuff like "aaghhh!! I haven't done anything I wanted to do this summer! and It's already August!!". Then I remember that I actually have, and I've done a hell of a lot more than I usually would in summer. I've been to the cinema a few times, I've had a prom, I've been to a karaoke booth, I've been camping... and much much more that doens't sound much but really was a lot of fun. 

In short, this summer, I've done a lot more than I usually do, and alot more than last summer. (Thinking about it, what did I do last summer, other than stay inside all day?!). Usually my summers are filled with staying inside all day doing really nothing, or being all alone in Anglesey with no one but my mother and grandma for company... Love them as I do, the beach really isn't much fun on your own. 

However, it seems that my determination to go above and beyond in order to have the best, most fun filled summer ever, seems to be a bit of a double edged sword as well. 

I was brought up with my mum saying stuff like "you can't see your friends every single day! you'll just get tired out!!" haha which was completely true really!! All my friends live at least a short bus ride away, if not a long one; so whenever I saw them, there was something in mysubconcious that's said;

"OMGLET'SGOCRAZYHYPERANDHAVESOMUCHFUN

INCASEWEDON'TSEETHEMAGAINFORAWEEK!!"

And, tbh I think it's still there, only a little more subdued. But!! I think, it is summer! I've finished my exams! Next year is gonna be tough! I DESERVE IT! Ahahahahh! I'm not a kid any more! I'll see my friends every single day if I want! I'll stay up late watching late night tv (which I'm sorry, but is waaayyy better than prime time!) and get wasted on gummi bears!! AHAAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAA!!

[you are currently witnessing a freak stream of conciousness as displayed by the one known as JAM. Please standby as she calms down and starts to think a little more logically.]

....I have suddenly realised that come 7th September I'm going to launch into deep depression or something...!! Hahaha. My fast life of late night tv and anime will be replaced by coursework and homework. My friends will be replaced by new students and teachers. Manga will be replaced by poetry and prose... omg I probably am going to go into depression after that! DON'T LEAVE ME SUMMER!!!

[It appears JAM is still in stream of conciousness mode. If not a little more saddening...]

*DEEP BREATH*

Ok. I'm good. Yeaaah so I was just reflecting on the repercussions of by double edged sword of summer fun... But, to be honest, even If I do have maaajor anti-climax syndrome after day 1 of school, It'll be worth it!! AHAHA! I'll never have a 16 year old's summer again, so I might as well enjoy it whilst I can!!

***

In other, even more depressing news;

Although I've known about it for some time, It's suddenly hit me that results day is in 22 days...

Most people I've talked to are, obviously, nervous about it, but everyone seems to be excited as well, to see what their results are...

As for me, I just want to climb into a very small cave and ignore the whole shizznay. I studied hard 24/7 for 2-3 months, I did the exams... and now I want nothing to do with it ever ever again. I'd rather just not know my results, and live a happy, blissful life in ignorance.

However. I'm gonna have to find out sooner or later... and like they say, "Curiousity killed the JAM". (...or was it cat?).

But... ughh. somewhere in a very tiny and pushed right to the back part of my brain, I can ever so slightly remember 'Ha' trying to organise a BBQ after our results. Now. 'Ha' is very clever. In her mocks she got all A*s, if not one or two As. (trust me I am not even going to go into what my mock results where... I was going through a very tough time ok!?)

So, unless she was hit by lightning and simultaneously lost every single one of her braincells, then her GCSE results are going to be the same.

So, here's the scenario;

everyone's given their envelope. Everyone opens their envelope. Everyone either cries of happiness or of sadness. I remain crouched in the corner of the hall clutching onto the unopened thing for dear life, as I rock back and forth with utter fear and dread. *shudder* Just thinking about what's going to happen makes me want to just drop down on the floor and lie there for a while.... 

I mean, I'm an optimist, but for some reason I just can't help but think the worst of these stupid things. I've always been predicted As and A*s, but in the past few months... ugggh. And I reeeeaaaally don't like the idea of opening it in front of everyone. To be perfectly honest, there's only two people on this earth I'm willing to open that envelope in front of, and neither of them will be in the hall.

So yeah..... BBQ is probably not such a good idea for me DX sorry 'Ha', the invitation is much appreciated, but I think I'dve passed out by then. (And I don't tend to do passing out...)

***

...Ok well that was joyous!! <3

Anywhoo!! I shall leave you with such lovely thoughts~

This is JAM, over and out!!

STAY NYAPPY~!☆
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