English Woes

Aahh memories of pretending to be a submarine when I went swimming with sma are just flooding back to me...

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"AAAGHH!!! SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOLLY IM BEING EATEN BY BOREDOM AGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

That, ladies and gentlespoons, was the sound of my inner monologue after reading the first few pages of a selection of, frankly, horrible books I'm meant to be studying next year.

Yes. For some reason, which, to this day I don't know why, I chose to study English Lit next year in 6th form.

Only, last year I hated English. I mean really really strongly. The time between autumn half term and xmas holidays particularly was like hell on Earth. I vaguely remember doing some mocks, but mostly the only thing I remember from that time was English.

My teacher was pressuring me and pressuring me and kept giving us really short deadlines, and wayyy too many practice essays.

To put it into perspective, around that time I....

- had just got back from a very busy school trip to America, and thus was jet lagged

- was desperately trying to study for the mocks, which were brought forward to before xmas just to fit in with a school inspection (gee thanks school)

- was doing all these A level standard essays and papers to try and get into a boarding school

- was travelling up and down the country for interviews/open days to try and get into sed boarding school

- Was typically been given at least one if not two practice essays a week from English

- was being hounded by both my ICT and English teachers.

And, to top it off, most of my friends were being complete shit toward me about the boarding school (which, in the end I didn't get in to anyway).

And, yes I am aware that some may be reading this, but to be honest, it needs to be said.

There was only a handful of people out of my, hmm about 10-12 friends or so that were actually supportive. (Though in all fairness to 'Li', we weren't so close at the time, so I'm not counting you in this... you were fine.)

And the only people who were actually supportive (out of everyone) were;

A, sma, 'E.J.' and my mum. Please to bare in mind that sma is 2 years below me, so I don't see her during school hours much, 'E.J.' isn't really in my '"close" friends group, and A doesn't even go to my school.

Sooooo, all in all that was a pretty shit time (at one point I was so tired I fell asleep in English... thank god my teacher didn't realise!). And I think I went into school in tears one day... hmm probably I remember a lot of crying... |:

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And even after I managed to scrape by that horrible horrible horrible time with ridiculously poor results (I got a U in physics, a subject I usually average around a B+, As or A*s), English was still so bad that I had to re-do almost all of my coursework. Even so, mum abnd I really had to fight to let my English teacher allow me to do so.

So in the end, it's going to be very interesting this coming Thursday, results day, to see what my outcome was in English.

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Other than the pressure factor, we also had really really bad books to read!

We had to read 'Turn of the Screw'. A book which, in my opinion, was written so boringly and was so dull I just stopped reading after the first few pages. The plot was, in actual fact, a very good and thought provoking idea. But, it was written dreadfully.

Our essay title for this monstrocity was

"Henry James successfully conveys fear and suspense in 'The Turn of the Screw'. Explain how."

Which just left me staring at a blank page thinking "It wasn't scary, and it didn't convey either of these things successfully at all, in fact quite the opposite damn it."

In the end, after I finally re-did the coursework, I made it up. The whole essay, I blundered my way through making up stuff just to please my teacher and fulfill the assignment. 

Thankfully, I managed to get an A (I think), but it could've easily gone the other way.

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To make matters worse, we don't use the English Lit A level at our school anymore; instead we use the Cambridge Pre U. This means, that I can either spend a whole 2 years stuck putting all my time and effort into something I really hate, or drop it and not get any qualifications whatsoever.

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So, such is my dilemma. We're going to talk to the school and hopefully I can swap English for Psychology.

So in the mean time, I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed an hope I don't have to do English...

That's all for now, bye~ My next post will be happier, I promise! ^^

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PS:

Whilst I'm on the subject, I'd just like to say a big big big big big BIG massive humoungous thankyou to sma & A for supporting me through that whole boarding school thing! If it weren't for you two, I think I would've had a mini break down or something, so thank youuuuu!!!